CHARACTERS Part 3

CHARACTERS Part 3

The First Date

The Comments: "The rest of your story kicks ass but the first chapter is kind of wonky." Or "I couldn't even get past chapter one." Or "The first few paragraphs are too confusing/ eye-gougingly boring."

What they might mean: Your main character is not making a good First Impression.

Have you ever been on a first date that just boded ill for a future relationship? Every portent, every sign in the Universe just screamed, in flashing red neon, that it wouldn't end well? 

Let me offer some real world examples from my own previously sad love life.

A first date started with a guy who told me to meet him at the movie theater. He got dropped off by his mom half an hour late (he later revealed he'd lost his license for drunk driving) and made me pay for tickets, drinks, a bucket of popcorn, and an arm load of candy. For him.

Another guy made me drive half an hour through a storm, pick up McDonalds for our dinner, and waited at the door of his apartment building – with a f*cking umbrella – while I walked across the parking lot, trying to keep our dinner dry. 

I didn't start out trying to dislike the guys; in fact, I desperately wanted to like them. But their first impressions just didn't allow a connection.

Bad first impressions from a Main Character are like that. A reader doesn't expect to dislike or not connect with them, but the first chapter might not be portraying the Main Character in the most empathetic light.

Let's put our Serious Pants on.

Here are the three common ways a Main Character makes a bad first impression:

1. Starting with a Dream Sequence.

This seems like a good idea. You can add some kind of prophecy or warning or foreshadow future stuff. It would totally build mystery. And you can pack it full of back story without it reading like an infodump.

It seems to work in movies.

Here's why it usually works against you. 

Dreams are strange, strange things. How often have you had a dream that made 100% perfect sense? Be honest. And be honest to your reader. But presenting a linear, realistic dream is already lying to the reader. Dreams are inherently confusing and the excitement of a dream in which a character is fleeing "some dark, mysterious entity" or "struggling to breathe" only to wake up gasping and realizing it was a dream is a big slap in the face. 

It's a promise that the story will be exciting and you've already broken that promise because "Ha! Fooled you, sucker! It was totally just a dream." 

Then the pace severely slows down because you have to show the character waking up and being disoriented and trying to figure out what the dream was about. 

Have you ever been so excited about hearing about someone else's dream that you sit on the edge of your seat, scarcely breathing, waiting to hear what happens next in a dream you have no stake in? (correct answer is no.)

It works in movies because movies have elements written stories don't have: chilling music, visual effects, facial expressions and actors people are already familiar with. 

2. The Second Bad Impression:

Perhaps you've decided against the Dream Sequence or they're just not relevant. Do you have Main Character waking up in the first scene?

Seems like a good idea to show MC's life before the instigating plot moment, right? 

Here's why it's not so awesome.

Having your character "wake up" in the first scene implies a very passive character. Going along with the Dream Sequence, a Waking Character is literally just lying there. Dreams are happening to him. Or sleep is happening to him. Then he wakes up. 

How many times would you start a journal entry with "Dear diary, This morning, I woke up." Or hell, "Stardate 003.4.3013, This morning, I woke up. Then I took a piss. I showered and brushed my teeth." 

On the flipside, how interested would you be in a journal entry by someone you've never met that starts with "Dear journal, I opened my eyes to find morning was upon me. I got up, pushed the covers off, and inhaled the scent of frying eggs." 

The Character Waking first impression implies the writer is going to spend a whole lot of time describing mundane activities. And heck, if I wanted mundane, I'd spend time in my own boring real life, not in Borba the Pimp's world. 

For extra information on why this mundane Waking Character might be a false start and give false impressions, check out my post on Beginnings.

3. The Third Bad Impression:

A flashback within the first five pages. 

Do you have a decent opening scene in which you hint at instigating plot moment, then go deep into Main Character and emo it up with a flashback (a scene from the Character's past, usually very meaningful to WHY the character left home, killed so-and-so, etc.)? You might think it's a great way to give the reader some background information to gain empathy for the MC, but it's actually an attempt to force a connection rather than letting the reader form one naturally.

It comes across as reader-manipulation.

Here's why it doesn't work the way you want it to.

You haven't really created a Character in the present story timeline, so why would I care about the Character's past? A flashback works best if it's framed by context. 

A sudden, early flashback is just an info dump. Just like the Dream Sequence above, the flashback inserts a jumble of information way too early and implies that you, the writer, couldn't work it into the plot just a few more pages in. 

If you would fight a dozen lightning-infused Titans to defend the need for an early flashback, it indicates you might be starting your story a tad too late. 

Otherwise, in stories I've Betaed, I've found that the flashback can be incorporated into profound and cathartic conflicts later in the story in tense dialogues.

Now, if you're like me, you'll automatically buck and kick when someone says you can't or shouldn't do something. And if you follow me on Twitter (@joanwip) you'll notice I use the hashtag #challengealltropes.

These three First Impressions have worked in the past for writers, so challenge what I've said above IF your story absolutely must begin that way. Those three beginnings can work if you use them with care and with deliberate, thoughtful motives. 

But if you've used them to lure the reader in, rather than inviting the reader in, you're using them as gimmicks, not as hooks. In other words, you're purposely misleading and manipulating the reader. In starting a story, just like in starting a relationship, that's not the best way to establish trust.

Happy Writing and Revising!

J  

Coming Up:

More Character

Dialogue

Dialogue Tags

Passive

Verbing

Robert Bevan 

Nat Russo

Laura Oliva

CHARACTERS Part 2

CHARACTERS Part 2

The Good, the Bad, the Fugly…

Oh, and the Quirky, the Snarky, and the Underdog.

 

The Comments: "Your story has a really weak/slow/boring start." Or "Your main character is really predictable." Or "I couldn't get past chapter two."

What they might mean: Your protagonist is too generic, too good to be true, or so pathetic or predictable they're unappealing.

Does that sting? 

Here's why: The deepest secret about main characters is they're shards of our souls we've somehow managed to chip off and flung into another world.

That's why critiques about them hurt more than critiques about plot, theme, etc. Because it feels like a critique against our selves. We've written our selves into the story and when someone says "Oh, the protagonist was completely idiotic," it stings like they've insulted us. 

The Good:

Perhaps we've made the protagonist everything we wish we could be? Super smart, strong, ripped like Beckham 

"I could totally carry your story."

or as stunning as Michelle Pfeiffer in Ladyhawke.

"I do the rescuing, right? Riiiight?"

Someone who knows exactly the right thing to do at the right moment, who always has a clever quip or a witty one-liner. With "just the right amount of vulnerability to make him endearing". An allegorical saint or Hollywood ideal. In other words, Too Good To Be True.

The Bad:

Or perhaps we've made the protagonist everything we hate about ourselves (or someone else – which is just a manifestation of something we do hate about ourselves but we can't/won't admit it.) Our protagonist is physically weak, intellectually weak, or morally weak. Perhaps they're too passive at work, in bed, in life. The classic underdog (and lordy, there's a lot of underdog protagonists right now – so many that it's become rather stereotypical and predictable.) 

The Fugly:

Or perhaps the greatest offense. We create a protagonist that embodies perceptions of what people want them to be. We stuff ourselves into a genre trope – the hard-boiled detective, the emotionally-damaged hero or heroine with a mysterious past, the super spesh stable boy who somehow overcomes his impoverished surroundings, finds a magical sword, and saves the kingdom from Ancient Evil. The Fugly hero or heroine who, at some point in the story, undergoes a metamorphosis via makeover to become a swan that everyone desires. 

The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly main characters are good starting points but can they carry a story? No.

Why? Because they're such commonplace extremes that it can be difficult to know them as real people. It's just as easy to hate someone who is too good to be true as it is to hate someone with qualities you already dislike. And boy is it easy to ignore someone you've met a thousand times in a thousand different books.

The danger to your WIP is this: the canned Good, Bad, Fugly becomes a puppet. He only is what you want him to be (what you wish you could be or what you wish you could change about your life). He only does what you want him to do (what you wish you could do or what you wish you could stop doing). Or worse - he only is and does what dozens of his predecessors have done before in the genre. No surprises. 

Yes, yes, I know Ancient Evil or Stunning Rival does something to him in chapter two, but check his reaction. Does he react the way you would react, the way you want him to react to suit your plot, or the way he would react if he was real and alive? 

(By the way, this is where that 5x5 Character Manifest fromlast week's post would come in handy. Check his reaction with one or a combination of what you answered for the Who, What, Why, etc.: Protag does X because of the answer to Why.)

I'll offer an example from my personal life a few years back.

I was desperately single. Like, will-date-anyone-with-a-pulse single. So friends and coworkers tried to set me up. A lot.

A coworker, Davey, came up to me one day.

"Hey J, I have a nephew who's single," said Davey.

"Oh yeah? What's he like?"

Davey showed me a photo of a smooth-cheeked, blue-eyed Marine.

"He's hella cute. How old is he?" I said.

"Just turned twenty."

"F*ck, Davey, I'm not a cradle robber, for f*ck's sake!" (I cuss a LOT in real life.)

"How the hell am I supposed to know how old you are? Besides, he don't care. I don't care," said Davey.

"Well I –"

"He's real nice. And real smart."

"So?"

"And he's really … nice. And good-looking, right?" Davey started turning red.

"And?" I knew a lot of nice, handsome, smart men in uniform. Married, related to me, or gay.

"He's quirky," said Davey.

"What the f*ck does that mean to me?"

"It's the thing to say now, right? Quirky." Davey scratched his head. "How about snarky?"

"Do you even know what those words mean?" I said. "Quirky is just a social construct based on the zeitgeist. In the 1800's, a woman who wanted the right to vote was quirky. Quirky means nothing more than what you think is f*cking cutely odd. It's a value judgment. Like saying someone's beautiful. Means nothing cuz you're idea of beauty is completely different from my idea –"

"He's quirky, snarky, and … and…"

"And what?" I shoved him in exasperation. "Tell me something about him that makes him special. Why would I want to date him instead of any other guy on the street?"

"Oh!" Davey said, eyes wide. "He has perfect pitch. You name a note and he can sing it, play it on his saxophone, or tune a violin to it."

And that right there immediately made Davey's nephew more real. The fact that he could do something unique – not terribly rare, not earth-shatteringly abnormal. Neither "likeable" or "unlikeable". Just… different.

Davey not only told me about that talent, he showed it to me by giving me an example of what his nephew does with it.

A character moving immediately gets more attention than a character standing still and blending in with his background. 

More importantly, that detail separated Davey's nephew from an ideal, from your ideals, from stereotypes and predictability. Davey stopped feeding me lines he thought I wanted to hear and started describing his nephew as a real person doing real things. 

If the comments and critiques at the top sound familiar, take a step back from the WIP and pitch your protagonist to a friend (or, if you're like me, random stranger in line at Costco) and follow the line of questions until you get the Specific and Unique details that transform your protagonist from character to dateable human being.

Then, in your WIP: how quickly can you convince me to "date" - aka, spend time with - your protagonist. Can you do it in the first chapter? Can you do it in paragraph 16? Can you do it on page one? Can you do it from the opening line? 

Happy writing and revising!
J

Coming up:
More Character

Dialogue

Dialogue Tags

Passive

Verbing

Robert Bevan 

Nat Russo

Laura Oliva

CHARACTER PART 1

CHARACTER

PART 1: SPEED DATING

Or: 5x5

For the next couple of weeks, I'll be blogging about Characters, development, types, and different ways to tighten your WIP from the characterization point of view. 

From my experience Betaing and working with other writers, "Characters" is one of the most difficult things to talk about or change in a WIP. It might be because, if plot is the backbone of a story and pacing is the heartbeat, the main character is the soul. 

How? 

Let's put our yoga pants on and get metaphysical.

You might have seen the phrases "character-driven" and "plot-driven" stories. Or MICE quotient (Milieu vs. Idea vs. Character. vs. Event). No matter what kind of story you have, the reader's interest in your story, the compulsion to turn the page, rests on how much they care about your Character. 

This is because the Main Character is your reader's proxy, or avatar, in your story. In other words, the reader experiences your story through the Main (or POV) Character. Which means that the Character must be, at the most basic level, relatable enough for his or her choices to make sense. The reader should know, at the very least, enough about your character to empathize with and understand why they choose to Pursue Questline or Solve Mystery or Desire Love Interest. 

Which means you, the writer, must know the Character better.

How? 

The Speed Date:

When you're on a speed date, you have anywhere from five to ten minutes to "get to know" the person sitting across from you. You can ask the five W's: 

Who, What, Where, When, Why.

Who are you? (In literary fiction, this could be as shallow as "Who are your parents?" which could lead to something as deep as "Who are you in relation to the universe?")

What are you? (In fantasy, this could literally be "What race are you?" or broadly "What is your socio-economic status/ occupation in the realm?")

Where are you? (In a mystery, it could be as plain as "Where can you use your skills best?" or as challenging as "Where would you be the most powerless?")

When are you? (In any fiction, this could be as basic as "When did you come into existence?" or  as specific as "When did your involvement change the outcome of the story?")

Why are you? (The greatest questions one can ask in Speed Dating, and while working on the first five pages of the WIP: "Why you and not someone else?" "Why are you so special?" and "Why are you here?")

Try to answer each question with Specific and Unique Details. 

You can do something as simple and direct as jotting these down on index cards or as involved as creating entire backstories.

Choose the method which works for you, but the one I've found to be most useful is to answer all five questions on one page. Then put these into a binder, and this creates your Character Manifesto. I call it the 5x5 (Five by five. If you're a fan of Whedon, this should be familiar to you. It's shorthand for a transmission's signal strength and clarity, with five the highest possible rank. This should help you focus your revising on honing your characterization's "strength and clarity" - How strong is your character's impression on the reader? How clear are your character's truths?). Refer to it as you revise.

Should you Tell your reader all this information within the first five pages? Oh hell no.

Show them. 

Here's some example Speed Dating Answers:

Jack

Who: The son of two low-caste drug addicts, who sold him to a Seed Importer.

What: Now he's a fey-hunter.

Where: He grew up in the trendy skyways of Han-ji Metro.

When: Obviously, some not-too-distant future.

Why: This is his story, he is the main character, he has the most to lose in almost all the scenes, and he has to hide the fact that his birth parents were low-caste drug addicts from his friends in Han-ji and his fellow fey-hunters.

Wen-Ai

Who: Eldest daughter of Court-Officer Yun-tze.

What: Leader of Jack's squad.

Where: She grew up and trained in the austere, severe monasteries of Dasgada's smallest moon.

When: Same timeline as Jack.

Why: For a secondary character, the question would be: "Why are you helping/hindering/antagonizing my main character?" Wen-Ai's answer: She feels Jack gets distracted too easily, doesn't know why, and fears it will endanger everyone else under her command.

Knowing the five W's of these two characters will help shape and refine how they react or act in all their scenes. 

Which one of them would saunter and which one would stride?

How would the way Jack say "It's not my fault," differ from how Wen-Ai would say it?

Who would be more likely to want to stop in the middle of a raid and look at shoes in a store window?

How your characters react and act will Show your reader the background information that you, the writer, already know.

If you had issues answering any of the Speed Dating questions, spend some time on it before you revise your WIP. Because if you don't know the answer, how can you expect the reader to?

The best way to know if your Characters – and therefore, your story – are coming across the way you intend is to have a Beta reader go over the WIP and see if any of their critiques can be answered by Showing one of the answers in your Speed Dating list.

Frex: A Beta might comment "This doesn't seem like something Wen-Ai would say" to the line "It's not my fault!" 

Applying the answers to Wen-Ai's Speed Dating Where and Why could change the line to: "It's not one person's fault, Commander," said Wen-Ai, silencing Jack with a look. "We go in as a team, we return as a team."

*** ETA: 2/20/13

For a more involved take on finding your Character's Voice, check out this post "How Do You Find a Character's Voice?" on Nat Russo's blog, A Writer's Journey.

He's a friend and fellow tweeter known as @NatRusso. Follow him for daily #writingtips and #grammartips.
***

Some more fun resources on how to "Get to get to know your characters."

Caveat! These can be HUGE time consumers. Remember your priorities and judge for yourself whether or not these help or hinder you.

Mary Sue Questionnaires:

Springhole Version

Onlyfiction Version

Utilities Version

Character Interview

Charlotte Dillon Version 

Eclectics Version

Lastly, if you can get your hands on a complete Scientology Stress Test, you can try taking it from the POV of your characters. 

Happy Writing,

J 

 

Coming Up:

More Character.

Dialogue

Dialogue Tags

Passive

Verbing

Robert Bevan 

Nat Russo

Laura Oliva